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Your Life
This is a concept I've had. At one point, I'd hoped to make this an animated short if it would help people to watch it. I'd like to map the story out, and because of its nature I'm a bit tentative but hey it's here for now. PLEASE BE WARNED! This deals with topics of abuse, violence, mental heath, depression and suicide. Because this is a rough concept-mapping, I haven't eased everything yet, so this is could be a TRIGGER WARNING. Please be careful and make sure if you do decide to read, you're in a healthy state of mind. This story is inspired by/follows the same format as A Christmas Carol'', but not with money/the spirit of Christmas. This story follows Jonah, a (mid-to-late teens? 15-17) year old boy who after maltreatment, being outcasted and abused, believes he and his life are worthless and wants to end it all. Before he can though, he's visited by three animal what they'd be called who are embodiments of the Past, Present, and Future.'' dont steal this please im beg Today was it. The day he dreaded, hated, yet forced himself to look forward to. The Friday afternoon of that week, when none of his family would be home and no one would know. He wished this wouldn't happen. He wished he could convince himself not to. But he had no choice. He'd set on it. His body was moving for him and part of him agreed. It wasn't like today had anything to change his mind either. "Piece of homo crap!" some random boy when he'd tried to comfort someone, who was a male. "Disgusting pervert!" a girl, his former crush, shrieked at him when he warned her her bag was unzipped. "F****g fat panda," his "closest" friend teased him, indicating the black eye his psychotic dad gave him the night before. "Worthless...weak...puny," his other close friend yelled at him earlier. "Depressing failure who will end up in a drug rehab if he would survive two years after high school," one of his teachers snapped. "So sad-looking, one felt depressed too around him!" another teacher snickered. He had no one. He had no real friends at school. His entire family at home hated him, and even pointed out that their lives would be better should he be wiped from existence. Maybe he should. He'd make them all happy. He'd make himself happy, not having to live in this daily, hourly torture. Jonah's plan was all thought out. There's a railroad going up a plateau about half a mile from his neighborhood. He thought about waiting for a train but they seldom come, and he didn't want to wait or he'd start thinking. No, the cliff-edge is where he'd go. He didn't think anyone would find him in time. Perfect...no...no it's not perfect...but Jonah had no choice. There was no choice at all. And he didn't want a choice...he wanted it over... Still the walk from school, past his thankfully empty house, was long. So long. Jonah's legs felt heavy and every survival instinct inside of him was screaming for him to turn around, stop. But he'd be turning around to a world who hated him, where he had absolutely nothing. Where his father would take all his anger out at him and his mother would constantly remind him that he was the result of a condom break and a failed abortion. And his kid sister would drive him insane. After what felt like half a day of walking, Jonah finally made it. A dusty, beatup railroad on yellow-green dead looking grass. Over seeing some still trees and a stretched piece of dead grass land that seemed to abruptly cut off in the sky, as if everything after it was a wall. There was a fence from the land the railroad was and the edge of the cliff, but no one came over there much and so it was beatup too, with gaping holes and rust. Plus, it didn't look too hard to climb. This was it for him. Jonah walked up to the fence and gripped it, daring a look down. The ground below, even though it probably was probably only 20 or so yards, looked like a world away. His stomach sank and his knees felt weak. He couldn't do it. He couldn't jump, no way. This was insane, crazy...but there was no where else to go. It was like someone was standing behind him, poking him with a knife and telling him this was his only way out, or go back and be stabbed every day. He had to do it...there was no-- "WHOA! Whoa what are you doing, bud?" Crud! Crud crud! ''He took too much time. He was found. Someone caught him and would try to send him back into his terrible home and terrible school, or worse, lock him up in a hospital or jail because he's trespassing and he'd always be trapped. He'd hurry up and do it before they could. He tried to scramble up the fence. "WAIT! Wait hang on man let's talk--" "There's nothing you can do, you're not gonna take me home or lock me up no way sir no..." Why was he talking to them? "HUH? Huh no I can't do anything of that. I can't do much of anything to you, I'm not big enough plus it's ''kinda mean to take someone without them agreeing, dude." Jonah was honestly getting curious to see who it was. Should he stop now and look? Would he still have the chance to afterwards? Did he want this person's face to be the last face he saw? Screw it. Jonah turned around. There was no one there. A few birds flying past and a tortoise? He hadn't seen that kind of tortoise...turtle, he couldn't tell in that area before, but then again he never paid attention in biology. "Good!" the tortoise spoke. "That's a first step." Jonah gasped and fell off the fence, back the way he climbed. He was losing it. All this situation made him delusional and maybe it was drugs or... "Are you okay? I'm so sorry mate!" the tortoise cried, starting to run towards him. It didn't cover too much land quickly though. Jonah scrambled to his feet again. No...no this was too crazy...he wouldn't get distracted...he had to try agai-- The tortoise was at his feet now. "Hey! Let's talk!" Jonah screeched and jumped back, but there wasn't much space between him and this scaled monster. Why was he so frightened anyway? He didn't care about his own well-being. "W-What..." he started. Why was he so shook? "You're Jonah, right? Of course you are. Before you do anything, I'm here to talk to you. Can you do that for me?" He didn't follow past his name. He really had lost his mind. Was anything real? Was he on drugs, or dreaming? So stressed he was hallucinating...or maybe turtles always talked and he at got the experience of meeting one before he died. "Did you hear me kid? I need you to talk to me first. Can you do it?" "How do you know me? What the heck are you and...why...what is..." "Oh yeah," the tortoise-creature-thing chirped. She...at least it sounded female...scooted back as if sitting. "This is probably creepy, right? Suddenly a big ole reptile comes talking to you? Don't be alarmed, Jonah, I'm your friend I promise." "Wha--" "You see, I'm the < > of your Past. I represet your Past! Call me Past...Pasty...whatever makes you comfortable to call me!" She represents his what? And "friend" associated with "Past?" That's a load of crap. "You're crapping me. I need to get out of here," Jonah said, turning around to grip the fence. It morphed in front of him! "No no you gotta talk to me and listen to me! I'm magical, see! I'mma show you your Past!" The last thing Jonah ever wanted to talk about was his Past. Just the Present...getting free. "I can only show you if you agree. Want me to prove it to you? Then we'll get the talking out the way and I'll leave you alone, I promise!" the tortoise squeaked. "There's no way it's true. It's some crap in my head and I don't want to dawdle before I--" Change my mind? Maybe he did. No, not good thinking no-- "It is true. Want me to prove it to you?" "You can't." Why was he still talking to this ...whatever? "I can, wanna see?" "I doubt you can." "Doubt isn't sure. Seeing is believing and I deserve the right to prove myself wouldn't you say?" "What the--" "In a case where someone is convicted of lying, do they not have the right to give proof to prove themselves?" "Well, yeah, but--" "THERE! You agreed! Let's go!" "What I di---" the tortoise heaved him on its shell, cutting him off. Then, facing the way he came, with a speed Jonah didn't even think a tortoise could have, galloped and jumped. A bright flash grew from the trees, growing and growing until it nearly blinded Jonah. Then it quickly subsided. ART THING: I don't know whether this would have them still in the forest/area they were in, and then they go look around, or if theyr'e teleported right to where they need to be. this map out i'll cut to the chase His eyes were burning and teary, and he had to keep rubbing them. "When you're done, Jonah, I need you to open your eyes so I can prove myself!" When Jonah finally did, vertigo hit him. Everything was blurry and moving around him, and he flopped down on the shell. "Open eyes and sit up. Sorry, shoulda clarified." Part of him didn't want to. The shell was kind of comf-- It was chilly. That was odd. It was approaching summer...why did it feel so cold? Jonah looked up. He couldn't recognize the town around him...yet he did. Buildings were bright and lit up. A fountain of a dolphin was squirting water. People bustling about with a few cars driving by. The air smelled of cupcakes...must be a nearby bakery. The air was filled with chatters from adults and children screeching at play. Everything felt warmly familiar, although he might as well have been in a foreign territory. "Sheesh, where'd you take me?" Had he been here before? "This is your home! Hometown I think. And we're right in front of your school?" His school? He'd been so busy looking everywhere except right in front of him. But the building obviously wasn't his school. It was small, much smaller than a high school. It had a bell on top, and was square-build, with a big blue octopus painting on one-- Jonah's heart dropped to his gut. "This is your kindergarten building, isn't it?" the tortoise chirped, sounding proud. He couldn't say anything. The windows were lit up. Sounds of children giggling and screaming filled the air. The paint was fresh, the building well-kept. Last Jonah saw this building, a couple of years back, it was boarded up with gaping holes, and the once peppy-looking octopus looked as depressed as he felt. "Yep it is. You're just too shocked kid! Now let's find you in here." "...Do what?" Past skipped around the building, until stopping at one window. "Off now! You're free to explore for yourself but I'll be your guide." She shook him off before he could register it, slamming him into the ground...but it didn't hurt. She got up on her hind legs and put her forlegs on the windowsill, leaning forward and squinting her eyes. "I hope this is the right time. Really thought we'd be able to see you in here, we might just have to go i--wait no, there you are! The kid sitting by the pet fish, he's coloring. Yeah that's you, Jonah!" All of this was insane...but....but he had to admit....he didn't want to see himself. He wasn't sure why, just as if it was wrong, as if something in him told him it was a taboo term to use idk fix laater and he should only focus on the present and not the pa-- "I didn't come all this way ''for you to hide in your shell kiddo! I'm not even doing that. Come on, let's see it together." Jonah tried to protest, try to say something, butno words came out. Past turned to him, and her eyes were surprisingly gentle and sympathetic. "I've seen your past Jonah. And I've seen in your past that you, even though you try not to, have and do look into your past sometimes...the more past than that past...it's confusing I know. But...you look at the pain, don't you? Whenever you can look, unintentionally because you think of how scary the Past is so you can avoid it, you see your father gradually turning more evil. Your mother almost leaving you. Your aunt dying. Your friends leaving. All the abuse you've encountered. You ''can't run from that past because....that's all you ever look at. You've set your own paradox kid." It was like this tortoise had cut him open, seen everything, and shoved it in his own face. He couldn't argue, couldn't contradict anything. She knew a lot...too much but he couldn't even be mad. How could he even register anger if she knew all this...and it was true...how could anyone know "...but, you don't have to keep going through that cycle," she continued, and leaned towards him to wipe off tears on his face, that he didn't even know were there, with her foot. "You face the dark past every day. But there's more in your past than just that. I've seen it. There's some good there too, and not just good as in 'feel good' either. I'll show you. You deserve...you need...to look at those too. It's okay. It's why I'm here. It's probably a big jump but you've got a friend here with you. You don't have to do much. Just lean into this window and look. Can you do that?" Jonah felt numb. He didn't feel like he owned his own mind anymore. He just numbly followed her direction. He heard her sigh, "I guess that's a start." He just stared at the kindergarten room...not at himself. Just in the middle, where some girls were playing a clapping game and a boy was putting a hamster in a block tower. He didn't move his eyes to find himself, just dumbly stared at the middle. "Heidi! I finished it!" a child's voice rang out. Jonah's eyes instantly searched for the source. It was a little boy, dark, dusty scruffy brown-black hair, a one-tooth overbite, tiny and nearly stumbling over his feet. Wide-eyed with a huge toothy grin. The boy stopped in front of a girl sitting alone at the table. She was sitting very focused trying to paint something on paper. She was heavy-set with two pigtails...and although he couldn't see from there, he knew her eyes didn't focus. "Heidi! You remember her, don't you?" Past said playfully. No. He didn't want to...but he kept focusing on the scene. She didn' tlook up, but the boy handed her the picture. "Surprise! I made the elephant purple and blue because they're your favorite colors!" She finally looked up and at the elephant. "Elephants aren't purple and blue though, they're grey," she said. Of course. Jonah was always dumber than everyone around him. "Okay, I'll make it grey, be right back!" little Jonah said, about to run back to his spot. "No don't. It's not realistic," ''that must've been a new word for a 6 year old, "but it's pretty and my favorite colors. I like it. Thank you, Jonah. Hug?" Kid Jonah beamed and hugged her. "Isn't that sweet?" Past sang. "You know why she was sitting by herself, right? You were her only friend. You remember that?" "Y-yeah...I think..." He used to think she was beautiful. "Hop on my back!" Past chirped suddenly. "We're gonna take a closer look at these budding lovebirds!" "Budding ''what? We were like 6--" but he was cut off, yet again, as Past heaved him up. "Let's go!" she sang again, marching around the school again until the got to the front door. Oh, the smell. That old kindergarten smell. He thought he'd never smell it again. It smelled like burnt food, garbage, vomit and lemon Lysol. He loved smelling it early in the morning, when his parents would leave. One of the teachers would gather the children into the room and put on cartoons before school started. One time she accidentally put on an action movie with fighting and blood and it was awesome! He closed his eyes and breathed it all in. Maybe he could trade places with kid Jonah again, be a tiny six year old with no ca-- "Here! Open eyes!" They were in the cafeteria, empty, with all the smells of disgusting food being made. A few moments later, shrieks pierced the air as floods of kids came marching in, single-file, behind exhausted lookign teachers. Jonah remembered how he never understood why the teachers were so snappish and tired all the time...but after seeing the 5-6 year olds pushe ach other around, randomly break into tears, one kid vomiting on another girl's shoes while a teacher went into a panic...he could maybe understand. Past waited until kids got to their seats, and then, without saying anything, walking in the middle of the cafeteria aisle. She even stepped on a kid bending down to tie his shoe. Jonah panicked but the kid didn't even seem to recognize it; it was like they'd stepped on air. "Yeah kid we're kinda just viewing it. No butterfly effect here," is all Past said. She kept silent until stopping in front of one table. And they heard a girl sobbing. It was Heidi, sitting at the end of one table. All the other girls were grouped up on the opposite end of the table, casting her dirtly looks. Sheesh, just like a minature version of high school. Then, tiny Jonah came scurrying with his tray, and sat in the seat next to her. Taking a bite of a sandwich...teen Jonah could almost taste it, hard and half-frozen, disgusting but the only food there...he asked Heidi what was wrong. "T-those girls over there," she pointed to the kids further down the table. One girl screeched something inaudible her while another tried to calm her down. Heidi almost cried harder. "Th-they...say....they say i'm fat....and I'm ugly....too ugly to be...them....with them and they said I'm sick but...I'm not sick...I'm not contagious or sick but they think...I am ugly...elephant..." She might as well be Jonah's future, minus being called "fat." "No no!" baby Jonah cried, patting her. "Those girls are being mean. You're not ugly, you're really really pretty. You're beautiful!" Heidi kept crying, but not as hard. "You're not an ugly elephant. You're a BEAUTIFUL elephant!" Older Jonah winced. "That was--" Past shushed him. Of course Heidi cried harder. "Being an elephant isn't bad! It's a good thing. Nelson the Nerd tells me elephants are actually very smart. They never forget anything, ever!" Heidi looked up. "E-ever?" "N-nuh! They live in herds too. They're big and strong. Whenever lions try to attack them, they form a circle around the babies to protect them and they can fight off lions really good!" Heidi stopped crying for a bit, and looked up. She looked interested. "Lions? Wow! How?" "With their tusks and stuff. Like pow pow!" little Jonah used his two elbows as an example and swatted at Heidi, who giggled and tried it back. "See! You can do that too whenever those bullies try to hurt you!" "Yeah but that's weird..." "That's not all elephants can do too! Nelson said they make the jungle!" "What? That's not true." "They do! They use their tusks and trunks and stuff to move the jungle around so there can be water and homes and it helps keep it alive. They're like the most powerful animal there! And they even have a graveyard for the ones who die, they're friends and love each other a lot." "Whoa!" Heidi's eyes lit up. "Elephants are super cool...I wanna be one!" "Me too! But I guess those bullies say you are," Jonah replied. "You are! Any time those bullies say something mean to you, make it a good thing because you're good! That's what I do. You're a BEAUTIFUL elephant! Say it! Say it!" "I'm an elephant." "A beautiful elephant!" "I'm a BEAUTIFUL ELEPHANT!" she put her elbows up to fight him with 'tusks' again. The two giggled and broke into a play tusk-fight. ~TBC~